As you know, in training I search for the “missing links”, things that horses find important but that are sometimes not recognized as such by people. Within a friendship, the rule is that seeing and acknowledging each other’s needs will mutually strengthen the bond. It’s that feeling that the other person is there when you need them. We can create this kind of bond with horses as well.
Have you ever noticed that a horse almost always chooses exactly where it wants to stand? A horse observes the situation and consciously chooses the best and safest place. This tells us that it is very important a horse. Does the horse prefer to be on the outside or in the middle of the herd? Is it right next to their horse friend, diagonally behind their horse friend. Does the horse prefer to lead the way or prefer to be at the back? Does the horse sometimes choose to graze far away from the herd? By observing this we can obtain a lot of information and find out what is important for this specific horse. We can use this information within our training. When a horse is tensed, a simple thing like choosing a spot to stand that is the easiest for the horse can help it to relax. And the spot that the horse and you choose together also gives information to the horse about your connection. In that way a simple thing like consciously choosing the place where you stand can have an affirmative effect on a horse. The moment we do not consciously deal with choosing the best spot to stand, can also confirm unwanted information and cause confusion to the horse.
The spot the horse prefers to be, is your starting point together. Even if you have been working with a horse for years, every day is a new beginning and there are always things we can improve together. In this starting point, the horse shows how the horse feels about the situation with you in this moment. We can notice this by observing the energy of the horse. Is the horse positioning itself next to you, behind or in front of you? If the horse has bad experience with people, you can already see that in the energy while the horse is standing still. Does it stand still with forward energy, as if it’s ready to move with too much energy and would bump into you? Is its attention everywhere except with you? Or is it a bit scared with energy that looks like the horse is ready to take a step backwards? We note this information without attaching a judgment to it. It’s not about whether the horse does what it’s been taught, but it’s about me being able to notice how the horse feels in the situation right now. Cause thats the only way I can attune myself and figure out how i can guide this horse in such a way that the horse feels that a safe space has been created and now it can actually do what it has learned.
When horses form a relationship, they often stay within each other’s reach, most of the time they face the same direction. We all know how close the bond between horses can be. It’s good to realize that a horses make this connection out of their own free will. The two friends also keep an eye on the entire herd, they also determine what spot to pick in relation to the herd. They take into account that when the herd would run, they can join right away. All these things are important to horses and should therefore also be important to us. Otherwise, our communication with the horse can never grow to its full potential.
For us to be able to indicate where exactly the horse would like to position itself, the horse needs space and it must feel comfortable within the environment or situation. The pasture is therefore a great place to start. When we want to systematically communicate to a horse that we are looking for friendship, standing side by side and looking in the same direction is an important part of the communication that we should not underestimate. I call “the buddy up” The action of systematically choosing that position and accepting each other within this space, for a horse this will feel like a systematic confirmation of the friendship. Especially when we rest without touching each other and just enjoying each other’s presence by breathing and feeling safe. We can further confirm by mirroring the horses’ movements or behaviors, like sigh together, look to the right together and rest together. It is important that the horse chooses to be with us. We can teach the horse to stand next to us, we cannot teach them to want this from their heart. Friendship, connection, a bond is something the horse chooses, it can’t be forced by us.
Safety and trust are absolutely essential ingredients when we want to form a close bond. And the more connection and trust you build with the horse. The more space there is to explore new places and situations. In this way of systematically building together at a pace that suits the horse, everything you do will start strengthening the bond. Even in new situations, the horse will start to choose to check in with you regularly. You will start to notice that a horse loves to work together, seeks cooperation and will also come up with ideas and suggestions. And you can start to trust that the horse will only say NO to your suggestions when it really cannot say YES for whatever reason.
When we mainly train from a goal-focused mindset and we are purely focused on what the horse needs to do, there is a big chance that we can’t tune in enough to the horses needs and suggestions. For example, if we want to do a trail ride with a group of horses and our horse finds it scary to walk all the way in the front or in the back. With a goal-focused mindset within training you might decide to just ride through any behavior the horse shows. The horse shows behavior in which it tries to say, “I’d rather not do this”. It’s good to realize that you are asking for something that your bond is not yet firm enough for. The confidence that a horse has in you will then crumble little by little. And yes it may obey but the horse’s heart will not be there with you. The result may look calm but might be a horse that disappears into itself and builds a wall of self-protection. The horse obeys but that built-up wall does not benefit your connection with the horse. When we train this way on a regular base a horse might learn to systematically say NO to us and develops behavior that we can experience as problem behavior. It can even cause physical problems in the horse such as stomach ulcers. While, when you wait for the right time, when your partnership with the horse is ready for it. The horse will actually suggest exploring those other scary situations, because it feels brave together with you and wants to explore and learn. I will come back to this later in other blogs.
Tadita Orenda 